I take big deep breaths, but it doesn’t help.
I take bigger breaths, but it still doesn’t help.
I take even bigger breaths, but I’m still feeling heavy.
I have good days and I have bad days.
I guess I’m having one of my bad days.
Everything seems blunt, yet everything seems like a miracle.
I can’t make my mind and it’s driving me crazy.
I can find things to be thankful for, but ask myself why I’m thankful for them.
I feel sluggish.
I feel numb.
Then, again, I do love my life.
I love my family, my friends, and my things.
Yet, everything and everyone seems so trivial.
So worthless and shitty.
I guess I really am having one of those bad days.
Very bad days.
I would like to take the moment to sit in the sun in the desert,
and erase all my thoughts for just a minute.
Not a trace left for me to remember.
No memories. No pain. No joy.
And maybe, just maybe, when my thoughts come back I’ll realise how lucky I am.
How I’m in a good place in my life.